*swoons*
i love regina spektor
=D

O God my savior.
though my father and mother forsake me
the Lord will receive me
teach me your way, O Lord
lead me in a straight path
because of my oppressors
do not turn me over to my foes
for false witnesses rise up against me
breathing out violence

i am still confident of this;
i will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.

wait for the Lord;

the number you have dialled is not..

tonight im gonna be 13 again and talk to people on my blog. i dunno. i just feel like it. and really, i think sometimes that's what makes blogging fun.


you. i suddenly have this feeling like i want to talk to you la. we havent spoke in such a while. i dunno maybe it's the weather but it just hit me that eh i want to sit down and have a chat with you leh. haha. i think as it is now we'd do each other some good. you think? =) but ok la i admit everytime we do meet up to talk it feels a bit funny wan i think we talk better while doing other stuff la. haha.

and you. seriously im worried about you la. it feels like you're getting more and more caught up with things and you dont see it. you know like how you can cook frogs alive? the honest truth is i've been anxious that you make a decision about nine to five before the end of the year, but then i thought also that, mm... maybe it'd do you some good eh so ya that's why i havent really pushed for anything. and pushing never does work with you does it? =) mm you pandai pandai la okay. dont get lost..

and you. hahaha i feel so whee~ la about the whole thing. okay maybe not like so drama. just a bit though. XD though it'd probably be short, but i think it'd be great. you better be prepared to banter away or else wasted okay. yays.

and you. hmm... what ever shall we do hmm? =) i think the one thing i should tell you, but somehow it's hard to do so up front, is that, i trust you. i really do. and even though we've all made mistakes in the past, i've come to learn that secretly you're a lot more than what people can see. so mm.. i think you will know what to do when things happen so really.. mm.. ya.


wahahaha.. so ya. like that for now.

just take what you get, and leave it at that.
cause in life we dont always get what we want.

hmm?

when i was a kid my favourite bible story was job. i used to think oh how cool it would be if i got to be like job. and im quite sure i've had that wish to be like job many many times as a kid. pfeh. idiot. why didnt i like something simpler, like, mary had a little lamb. i'd get to have kebab at least. oh wait, that's not in the bible is it? ha i thought all lamb related stories must have been from the bible. oh wait, i dont want to be mary neither.

my god is bigger.

met a couple of long lost friends over dinner. havent seen them in twelve years. listened to many many stories about their lives and such. and i suddenly felt like, woah, the world is so big. it really is so, so, big. and the after thought to that was ming yan, stop trying to catch up anymore; life is not about making up for the past.

and, maybe huh.

it feels like, life is about today, and what's ahead of us; it's about networking and socializing and getting to know lots of people. enjoying present company; living life for today.

life is about experiencing.

but. something's not quite right about that picture. something is missing. you think? something in there feels a little bit... self-centered. some of you have been there i know. how does it feel?

but. tonight has been a stimulating night. to say the least.
what's next?




in a way, i thank God i havent met this side of the world until now. a few years back, i might have chosen it over a lot of things that i hold dear now. haha yes i still love you dear. where am i headed now?

"you know when i listen to music i see these little lines travelling up and down and up and down."

i wanna sleep in tomorrow..

suddenly i feel like i cant go through with this anymore.
it's normal isnt it, to feel that way?
like a knee-jerk reaction

but the truth remains that there's nothing left here;
nothing that will grow.
better to die fighting the cold
than remain a half-baked piece of clay.

better to not have been anything at all?

this;
is my reset button.
i can only hope that..


i dont really know what to hope for


im so scared i could cry now.
i'd exchange my guitar and camera for some stillness.

caesuras

look now
the words that spill
from a needle-point
of blue.

letters rolling;
forming; being.

shaping into landscape
a fraction of my endlessly flowing bemusement;

turning it precipice.

it's 6.31 am and i thank God i came online now to see what i saw (instead of preparing for school like i should be). heh. today is a better day now. =)